Divorce & Separation 6: Hope

Within the significant grief and loss process associated with separation and divorce is the depression stage, and although this stage could be arguably the most difficult, the good news is, it comes just before the upward turn and acceptance stages.

Depression can vary in severity from individual to individual, however it is commonly experienced as a mixture of feelings from deep sadness, anger, anxiety, disparity, dejection, suicidal ideation, deep disappointment and more. It also is often accompanied by physical symptoms such as an inability to sleep properly, lethargy, weight loss, weight gain, irritable bowl, increased susceptibility to illness and others.

Depression, or even rejection or deep disappointment can cause people to lose hope. Hope in a brighter future for themselves and/or children. Hope in others, and even hope in God. It can cause them to doubt and even reject what they know to be true, both their faith in God and their hope for humanity.

I utterly understand deep disappointment in people, and depression from the traumatic experience of separation and divorce.

I have found that, along with seeking help to work through our personal circumstances and grief, holding onto HOPE in God, is what has really seen me come through. Hope that He will help me irrespective of my personal circumstances because He truly loves me, is what helps me make the good choices to work towards healing and stop me from self-sabotaging.

 

People have a free-will and they will falter and disappoint us. People will let us down. People will even hurt us. God will not.

Sometimes during painful times we can second guess ourselves, our faith, and even our belief in God. We can blame Him for what has or hasn’t happened, especially when we were SO SURE it was His will.

We need to understand that God is always faithful, regardless of our human limitations regarding discernment. His knowledge is infinite and we can always trust His decisions and timing. He works ALL THINGS together for the good of those who love Him, read Romans 8:28.

It’s completely human and normal to grieve a significant loss and to second guess. Learning to discern His will for our lives is understanding His answer is not always a yes. It can be a straight no, or even not now just wait.

In a day and age of false prosperity doctrine circulating we must hold onto scripture that teaches suffering is an integral part of living a Christian life to become more like Jesus. We must understand that God is good and is always working in our lives to mould us more and more into the likeness of Jesus.


Without suffering we cannot develop HOPE.

See Romans 5:3-4 “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

God is the God of hope, see Romans 15:13.

Faith and hope are so closely intertwined, it’s important to not lose hope. Hebrews 11:1 states, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Psalm 146:4-6 “Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. 5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, 6 the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever.”

In the Old Testament prophets warned the Israelites time and time again not to put their hope in other nations in times of great suffering. We are warned in scripture to not seek help from meer mortals such as psychics, mediums, or ungodly people. We are to grow our faith in Jesus through suffering and patience and we will not be disappointed.

We can hope for a better tomorrow because He has promised this in scripture. When that tomorrow will come, I do not know. I do know we are to be faithful however in both the good and hard times.

Do not seek wisdom from broken people. Pray and ask Him to speak to you from His word, the Bible.

Hold onto HOPE IN HIM – as this is something NO PERSON can ever take away from you, no matter what you have lost and are grieving.


His Word is the One Thing that Remains.

Peace be with you.



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